“I only ask that the ramifications of a young, sensitive boy being beaten by homophobic adult males, as well as beaten up by unrestrained bullies and sexually assaulted by older students, be taken more into account as well.”
I assume it is OK to call you Jeff. I get terribly tired of hearing endless pro-paddling rants on some of the pro-paddling websites (which often have a hidden spanking fetish aspect). It is really depressing to see the same old stuff being trotted out in one form or another to support it. As someone who has struggled from a very early age with guilty feelings about spanking fantasies, and feel that the things done to me in school had a horrible effect on my ability to get a real education, to run across the few like you and Chris Dugan is a great relief.
I can’t alter the fact that I become sexually aroused over paddling. I'm already set in my ways. For me, right now, in middle age, the only answer seems to be finding internal acceptance of the things that turn me on that can be exercised in consensual adult settings. The larger issue, and the reason I support yours and Chris’ websites, is that we must find a way to keep such fetishes from being set in younger generations. A life long spanking fetish is not a “gift,” believe me.
I have told many people over the years that if I had followed my darker 'dreams' I would have ended up a Texas teacher/gym coach, passing on what I 'learned' in my school days. I know (otherwise) decent people who have done this, and I have even been told I would have made a fine teacher, but the moral/ethical risks were just too great for me to consider such a path.
It is very hard to hold to this position opposing CP, though, when the spanking and paddling fetish community, which otherwise offers some comfort and support in my own situation, seems so overwhelmingly in favor of perpetuating the sort of abuse which brought their own life-long fetishes about.
I'm working my way through the interviews on your nopaddle website. This is not that easy for me to do. One thing that I note on your site is the heavy emphasis on the paddling of girls. I have certainly noticed a much greater incidence in reports of this in more recent times, though I'm not surprised that northeast Texas stands out in this regard. Dallas also has a longstanding pro-paddling reputation among large cities.
While I certainly understand the concerns about the sexual content of these activities in regards to young females, my own perceptions are colored by my homosexual paddling experiences as a boy in small town Texas. As things turned out, I’m gay. The sexual lifetime grip that paddling has had on me is very much male-on-male oriented. I only ask that the ramifications of a young, sensitive boy being beaten by homophobic adult males, as well as beaten up by unrestrained bullies and sexually assaulted by older students, be taken more into account as well.
Of course, I am quite aware of the most usual interpretation that can be given to homophobia, that of repressed desire on the part of the phobe. A favorite saying of mine is that the closet cases are the most dangerous. I could never expect any sort of protection from bullying from school authorities. They resented my expectation that I would be protected. In their view I was a “sissy” who just had to “learn to take care of himself.” However, when I did react and try to fight back, I was the one who was threatened by them and viewed as a troublemaker.
The most severe paddling I experienced, in fact, came about as a result of my reaction to harassment by other boys. They were probably picking up on the closeness between me and my best friend at the time, who also happens to be gay.
I should add that in the schools I attended in the early to mid '60s that in Elementary and Jr. High, only boys were paddled as far as I was ever aware. My high school still had the paddle, but it was far less prevalent. I managed to avoid it in high school, although I had to face down coaches on two occasions in my senior year. Here too, however, I don't believe girls were ever paddled.
I am studying Chris Dugan’s paper on "Origins" [of the spanking fetish] with great interest. I see the point he is making about early influences in fetish development, especially with regard to guilt feelings, but I have very strong memories of my early feelings. I believe that part of the way I developed was the result of distorted role-model relationships with abusive men. That is, the way 'real men' act is to beat boys' butts. Not only that, but some of my earliest guilt feelings arose in puberty when I perceived the contradiction (at the age of twelve or thirteen) between my anger at being paddled and hatred of those who had done so; and the fact that some of my earliest sexual fantasies involved boys I thought were attractive -- boys that I liked -- getting paddled. I actually entered puberty earlier than this, but I became aware of the conflict a year or two later. "How can I think that this is so very wrong (paddling) and still want to do it to others?" was the way my thoughts ran.