Hidden, lifetime harms
"Quick and easy" paddlings result in a life-long sexual fetish
I saw your no paddle site. You may be interested in my story. I posted it on a religious forum. The link is:
I don't know if the above link will work, but it is beliefnet.com. Then discussions, "Mormon," Mormon issues. The post is titled, "Spanking Fetish."
(Note: The following letter is a composite between Tim's initial letters to me and his post to the beliefnet site that he directed me towards. The letters and interviews were conducted in January, 2003. Tim has reviewed this composite letter, and approved it. -Jeff)
This letter is very personal, and is very difficult to write. I am convinced that "paddling" must be abolished! When I went to school in Tennessee in the 1960s and 70s, corporal punishment was very common in the schools. I both received it and witnessed it, and it had a negative effect on my life.
When I was in the first grade, I tapped another boy on the shoulder to get his attention to ask for a crayon. He went to the teacher and told her I had hit him. She called me to the front of the room, and she asked me if I had hit Noel. I said, "yes." She did not ask why, and I didn't say anything else. She took a paddle from her desk and said, "come with me." I followed her to the coat room. I did not know what was happening. I didn't even know I was in trouble. My parents did not spank at home, and until that day at school, I did not know of anyone being paddled.
When we were alone in the coat room all she said to me was, "bend over." She paddled me 5 or 6 times. I remember the pain, the fear, the humiliation. It hurt worse each time she hit me. I wanted to cry, but I could not because of the embarrassment. Then all she said was, "go sit down."
I did not understand what had happened. I remembered I had been told they would whip you in school. I thought, "was this what they meant?" As I walked back to my desk I had an erection. I did not understand the feelings I had that day as sexual, but that's what they were. I was scared, ashamed, confused, and embarrassed.
I was paddled several other times through school, and each time, it always had the same effect on me. It became a sexual thing for me, and it has been ever since. I saw a psychologist for a year trying to make sense of this, and also trying to change. I have had no success in changing, and very little success in understanding it. I was never punished this way at home, so I know it did not start there.
I saw and got several paddlings in school, and some were, I think, a sexual thing for the teachers too. I heard the paddle pops in grade school daily, because you could hear it in every classroom whenever someone was paddled. It is no wonder I became obsessed with it.
My reason for writing this is, first and foremost, to ask parents and teachers to please be aware that these kinds of things can have a profound effect on a child!
I have spent many years considering paddling, and the fetishes it can induce, from a religious perspective. Is my sexual spanking fetish a sinful thing? I try to look at it from a spiritual point of view. I see a difference in "spiritual' and "religious." What need does reliving those school paddlings meet for me? Can that drive be directed some healthier way? Should it be? Is harboring a secret spanking fetish since childhood a sin or weakness to be overcome, or is it a gift to be enjoyed?
At least the advice of most church leaders in the Latter Day Saints have generally been opposed to corporal punishment. I think they are becoming more that way. I am proud of them for that.