all names altered for this interview
This interview is different than most in that the person interviewed has had an awakening on her own spanking/sexual abuse, and has only recently come out of denial about it. “Tracy” has also done some research on her own trying to figure it all out, much of which could not be reprinted at this time. Toward the end she interviews me a bit in her quest to better understand the male perspective on the sexual aspects of paddling. Although this is somewhat redundant to points made in the book, I thought its brief treatment here might be a help to others like Tracy who are grappling with these issues for the first time.
Tracy: Jeff, I have found your nopaddle website fascinating. I joined [an internet school paddling discussion group that only allows pro-paddling statements to be made] two years ago with the attitude of supporting CP in schools. While I found some aspects of paddling exciting (I remember "interesting" feelings after receiving it from Jr. High on), I have to admit that I was quite naive in understanding how easily this practice can be used to get the paddlers jollies on a high roll.
Just after I joined, I read many posts by “Tiffany” [about hers and other girl’s bare butt spankings by a man in an orphanage in the 1960s], and I assumed at first that most of it was B.S. In fact, I wasn't sure she was a female. After many e-mails, however, I struck up a friendship with her, and I eventually drove to Dallas to see her. I have never been the same since. I’m now fully convinced that she was telling the truth.
After recovering from the shock, I started to re-examine my own experiences. My eyes were opened to something I had never allowed myself to consider, and now I wonder how common hers, and my, type of very obvious spanking sex abuse actually was (and still is).
Under the guise of doing research for a college paper, I began asking my neighbors and friends about school CP, or CP in general. Since I am in an extremely conservative area, East Texas, I was not surprised to find that it has a lot of support.
My "gem" is interviewing an 81-year-old former principal near the area where I grew up who admits he took liberties when paddling grade school students, especially girls. His comments have really made me wonder how much I was a piece of entertainment when I got paddled.
Jeff: He would make "principal number two" to make such an admission. I interviewed a man who spent eight years paddling in Texas who also somewhat reluctantly admitted that he sexually enjoyed paddling teen girls. I think he found it disturbing though, so he went into another field, but his peers had no such qualms.
Tracy: This guy here was similar, although his remorse did not occur until just before he passed away, in May, of pancreatic cancer. What I found most strange about him, maybe because I'm female and I’m missing something, is that while he admitted that he "enjoyed" paddling young kid’s bare behinds, he strongly felt that having sex with children was thoroughly disgusting. He even said that people who have sex with kids should be shot, yet he essentially admitted that he enjoyed spanking children for his own sexual pleasure.
Jeff: That’s called “denial,” or "doublethink” in Orwell's classic, “1984.” It is a very common condition where the sexual aspects of any kind of spanking are concerned. We know it is there, but we also “know” that it isn't there. At least, in his partial defense, the old man lived in a time when these issues were seldom brought out in the open. He probably inwardly enjoyed spanking, but at the same time thought he was the only one on earth who felt that way, or told himself that it was “good for” the kids. He might have actually been ignorant enough in those days to really believe that paddling didn’t affect the kids the same way it had affected him. Even if it bothered him, he might have rationalized that if he didn't do it, someone else would have.
A Portion of Tracy’s School Paddling Research
I was raised in Northeast Texas in a community about 30 miles east of Texarkana. The area is stereotypical Southern: rural, relatively uneducated with very few college graduates, religious devotion bordering on fanaticism, and extremely conservative. I attended a school in which the Elementary, Jr. High and High School are on the same parcel of land. The entire school’s K-12 student population was approximately 600 students.