Tim: Yes. They had to meet with the principal when I went back. Their position then was that I was too old for spanking. They accepted both my decision and the school's. I was pretty much treated as an adult at home from about age 13 on. It made for much easier teen years than most of my friends experienced.
Jeff: Why did you drop out of school? Did the punitive atmosphere, or harmed grades, have anything to do with it?
Tim: Well, I hated school from day one, and I guess the punitive atmosphere had a lot to do with that. I quit after eleventh grade. That summer I took a GED test and passed and began college in what would have been my twelfth grade year.
Jeff: How common was paddling in your elementary, junior high, and high school, to your knowledge and estimate?
Tim: In elementary paddling was a daily thing in one of the 16 classrooms. Most paddlings then were done outside the classroom by the teacher. You could hear it in all the rooms when someone was paddled. Any teacher could paddle any student, as well as the principal. Some teachers paddled more than others. Some only sent students to the principal. I was never paddled by the principal.
Jeff: Did you feel guilt over your sexual feelings over spanking/paddling?
Tim: I did when I was younger, but I have moved on from there.
Jeff: Did this guilt have a religious flavor?
Tim: I guess all guilt has something to do with religion.
Jeff: What age did the guilty feelings start, if you know?
Tim: I am not sure that guilt is the right word. Shame was more it. I thought I was the only one who ever felt like this. I now know there are many others. I grew up wondering if I was mentally ill. Maybe I am and I don't know it. That is the hand of cards I got dealt, so I play them.
Jeff: Did you ever sense guilt, perhaps not for sexual feelings, but just from deriving some sort of satisfaction at other's pain and humiliation?
Tim: No. In my fantasies, I am usually identifying with the one receiving the swats. I think I lean more toward masochism than sadism, at least at this time.
Jeff: Was religion mixed in with paddling, even in subtle ways, at school? Did you ever hear something like, "taking the paddle out of school would be just like taking God out," or, "they took out prayer, but we still have the paddle," etc?
Tim: No, I didn't hear anything like that. I am sure if any teacher would have been asked to justify the practice, they would have quoted [the Old Testament, biblical book of] Proverbs though.
Jeff: Did any other teachers stand out to you as someone who really liked to paddle, whether you experienced it or witnessed it with them or not?
Tim: There was one teacher, in seventh grade that paddled girls a lot, but not boys. I never knew her to paddle a boy. She always paddled girls. I don't know why, because with most other teachers it was more unusual for girls to be paddled. I was only in that school for about 3 months, so I didn't stay long enough to learn if it was her rule, or what. Maybe she sent boys to the principal. I went to 3 different schools in seventh grade, so I knew a lot of teachers that year. This teacher always took the girls out in the hall, and they always came back crying. I guess she paddled pretty hard.
My fifth grade teacher paddled me more than any other teacher did. I don't remember how many times she hit me, in fact. Oddly enough she was one of the nicer teachers I had in other ways. She had only one discipline method though. The paddle out in the hall, or swats on the hand with a ruler. She had several rulers glued together for weight to swat students on the palm with. I liked her though. She was a young black lady and treated everyone equally. Some teachers at that school, I feel like now, treated poorer kids differently than the rich kids. This teacher, though, would paddle anyone who misbehaved. I think she meant well.